Succession (Finale) Recap: We are bullshit.
I do apologize for the week+ delay on this. Turns out when you have a job you actually have to do stuff during the day.
Entirely my fault for not making more time to write though. Won’t happen going forward.
Anyways, this is it. The last Succession recap blog ever. We’ll get into everything in what should be a pretty lengthy recap, but let me just say this: they fucking nailed it. Like Breaking bad before them and very unlike Thrones, Succession stuck the landing.
They ended it the right way. No crazy twists, no uncharacteristic behavior, no Greg as CEO. It was just a chef’s kiss finale that left you with a perfectly apt feeling of unease. With Succession, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Let’s get into it:
Episode 10 Recap: With Open Eyes
“Tom will honestly suck the biggest dick in the room.”
Oh Shiv, Shiv, Shiv. You smug fool. Succession’s opposite of a heroine (probably just villain right? I think that’s a gender neutral term) doesn’t realize that she gave away the entire store about 5 minutes into the episode.
Pride ALWAYS cometh before the fall in this family and that’s never been more the case than with poor Shiv here. She counts her eggs before they hatch and fails to recognize what is clear to even the viewer: Matsson doesn’t want her as CEO.
The cartoon depicting him as Shiv’s puppet clearly bothers him. Matsson is not a leader who brings a wealth of creativity and innovation to the table and wants other innovative individuals around him. He is, at best, a charismatic frontman who takes credit for the hard work of his underlings.
Therefore, he can’t have anyone at the executive level who represents any sort of threat to him. He needs competence, sure. But ultimately, he’s looking for yes men — people who will do what he wants without pushback or any sort of creative dialogue. Couple that with the fact that he doesn’t respect women, especially ambitious ones, as anything more than PR fodder and it’s clear that Shiv isn’t his choice.
Frankly, his real choice should have been more obvious from the jump.
“Early bird catches the Rome.”
Sort of telling that both Ken and Shiv allude to “bagging” Roman, as if he is a commodity and not their VERY emotionally damaged brother.
We join Roman in their mother’s “hellhole” in Barbados. He very much looks beaten up, both emotionally and literally, as he’s sporting some fresh stitches on his head from his kerfuffle with a protestor who seemed to be modeling for Banksy’s next billion dollar spray painting.
Brilliant little touch by the costume department outfitting Roman in a kids’ t-shirt from Walmart, a final indication of his true childish nature.
It’s obvious why the Roy children are fucked up when you consider the relationship they had with their father. But what the Barbados diversion gives us, in part, is in an insight into just how awful the other side of their parentage is. Their mother refuses to tend to her son’s wounds, has no food for them to eat except for “the knobbies” and “Peter’s special cheese,” and uses the rare occasion of her children visiting to have her clingy husband and his loser friend essentially give them a timeshare pitch. I was genuinely surprised those guys didn’t have a free set of golf clubs waiting for everyone after sitting through that.
Back to these 3 momentarily.
“I need a pain sponge.”
Wow, there has never been a more accurate description of Tom than that. As foreshadowed early in the episode, the Swede was looking elsewhere for a CEO. But as it turns out, he didn’t have to look far.
As he and Tom sat in the shitty fish restaurant and discussed the possibility of Tom being the CEO, it was like a moment of pure clarity for me.
Of course it would be Tom.
He’s not a threat to anyone, he’s competent in business but not an inspiring figurehead, and he has actual experience at Waystar. Oh and he’s a spineless jellyfish. This guy looked him in the eye and said he wants to bang his wife and he just ate it. This was a test by the Swede and Tom passed with flying colors. He’s an empty suit who isn’t afraid to bear the brunt of the shit and make unpopular calls. Tom is tailor made for this version of the CEO job.
Shortly after this illuminating conversation, Greg cleverly uses a translation app to understand what the Swedes are saying at the bar. But then he does the most Greg thing ever: he tells the opposition. He tries to curry favor with the siblings who, without this information, wouldn’t have a prayer in hell of winning the board vote.
This is the true essence of Greg. He’s a relatively smooth operator who knows how to get leverage. The problem is he has no clue how to use it. He just meddles for the sake of meddling. There’s no real plan. He’s just trying to curry favor with whoever he perceives has the upper hand. It’s overused but no one has ever been more deserving of this gif than Greg:
“You can smile bitch.”
With the Roy children now aware that Shiv is getting screwed over, they quickly strategize. In order to get the votes to veto the deal they need to put together a coherent pitch to woo the board members. That means choosing one of the three of them as definitive CEO.
And in ridiculous Roy fashion, that process consists of them literally calling dibs. Kendall alludes to the fact that Logan promised the job to him when he was seven over an ice cream sundae (real surprise he turned out fucked up). This is how you decide who's sitting shotgun, not how you name the next CEO of a major media corporation.
(Ultimately, Logan knew none of his children could actually do the job. So he kicked the can down the road and left them dangling, never actually intending to name a successor).
Regardless, the sibs eventually settle on Kendall as the least terrible option and officially anoint him at a floating barge.
Sidenote: Given Kendall’s relationship to water, I was fully convinced that he was going to get swallowed up by a comically large shark. By far the most tense viewing moment of the episode.
What ensues is drunken revelry, surprisingly solid impersonations of other characters by the Roy children, and Jeremy Strong actually drinking the raw egg-tabasco-Shiv spit smoothie because of course he fucking did.
However, I think every viewer knew this happy family moment was the last we would likely ever see from the Roys. Succession is very much like a Shakespearean drama. No lightheartedness can last.
“I’m a little teapot, fuck off!”
We make a quick pre-board meeting stop at Connor’s to divvy up Logan’s possessions. Connor is essentially employing the Cones of Dunshire rules to determine who gets to keep what.
In what turns out to be the last we ever see of Connor and Willa, we get a final glimpse at what life is like for a Roy without real ambition. Connor is far and away the happiest of his siblings. Yeah, he essentially bribed his wife into marrying him and she’s decorating a $60M apartment with a cow skin couch you might find in the waiting area of a Texas Roadhouse, but he’s about as happy as he could be given his upbringing.
As he indulges in his pointless silent auction, the other three Roys are dismayed to learn that Tom is to be named new CEO. This leads to a well-overdue blowout between Greg and Tom and allows the sibs to get their opposition together, setting the stage for one final showdown in the boardroom…
“It could have been you.”
The second Kendall takes the seat in his dad’s old chair you know something shitty is going to happen. He puts his feet up like he owns the place, starts talking crazy to Stewy, and you can see the concern written all over Shiv’s face. This guy is an insufferable douche who can only muster brief moments of bravado between lengthy stretches of insecurity and instability.
His instability is proven in a bizarre exchange with Roman in which he literally opens up Roman’s wounds to make him appear, both physically and emotionally, unfit to lead in front of the board. It was a chilling moment where Kendall asserts his dominance and demonstrates that he would never be a collaborative CEO. He wanted the power for himself and only himself, and he would do anything to get it.
Though as Roman notes, the CEO chair is not magic. It does, in fact, matter who sits in it.
“I am like a cog built to fit only one machine.”
The board vote commences and Kendall’s overconfident speech all but ensures he’s going to lose (pride cometh before the fall Roys). Shiv’s face is again littered with concern as she realizes the vote is going to come down to her. And then, abruptly she leaves the room. We all know what that means.
The meltdown in the adjoining meeting room is one of the most iconic scenes in a show filled with them, and is a beautiful final battle between these three characters.
Shiv can’t accept that her brother is getting the job that she wanted. Think back to Tom’s quote earlier in the episode:
“You don’t like to fail a test do you Siobhan?”
Shiv is what she has always been: petulant. She can’t lose. She would rather sell off her own family’s company and sacrifice a high-ranking position at Waystar just to ensure that her brother doesn’t get what she so coveted.
Kendall is an unstable mess who has based his entire existence around a job that he isn’t really cut out to do. Case in point: when he doesn’t get what he wants, he shoves a pregnant lady and attempts to gouge his brother’s eyes out. He also vaguely threatens to kill himself. These are what we call red flags.
This spat culminates in Roman and Shiv taking cheap shots at Kendall, implying that his kids aren’t his and referencing the fact that he killed a guy. The former is uncalled for, though Ken being impotent makes a ton of sense. The latter is actually kind of a fair point if we’re being honest. Also, gotta respect Kendall claiming he made up the story about the kid drowning to unite the siblings. Nothing brings the gang together like a little vehicular manslaughter.
It’s just a perfect ending for these siblings who despite four seasons of strategizing, power plays, and framing themselves as successors, are ultimately still just little kids arguing outside dad’s office to get his attention. Kendall screaming, “I am the eldest boy,” says it all. That’s his qualification for the CEO job. He’s the oldest. And that’s not even true.
(Also, they know that everyone can both see and hear them in that clear glass room right? What's the plan if Shiv changes her mind and votes yes — We all just pretend we didn’t see him having a meltdown?)
“We are bullshit. You are bullshit. You’re fucking bullshit. I’m fucking bullshit. She’s fucking bullshit. It’s all fucking nothing man. We’re nothing.”
Roman is the only one who finally accepts what we’ve all known for some time. They are all bullshit. This phony world of power they’re in is nothing. It doesn’t matter. They’ve all dragged themselves into hell and irreparably damaged their family for nothing. It’s all just bullshit.
Etymology Hour
Before I move on to superlatives, I just wanted to wrap up each character’s story and explain how the origins of their names may have been a subtle wink to their ultimate fates. I’m probably reading too far into this, but everything means something on this show so who knows.
Roman ends much as he began. The playboy son who is just going to party and be free of this horrid world. Is he still fucked up mentally? Yes, big time. But there’s some semblance of relief on his face as he drinks a martini in the afternoon, knowing he never has to be a part of Waystar again. He can just be the child he always has been. Etymology: In other words, he gets to indulge in wealth and hedonistic pleasures much like an ancient Roman.
Shiv’s pride ultimately proved to be her downfall. She couldn’t lose alone. If she was going down, her brothers were coming with her. Now she finds herself in the position she spent her life avoiding: subservient to yet another powerful man. She seems doomed to become her mother, putting knobbies in the freezer for the rest of time. Oh and her kid is gonna be all sorts of fucked up. Etymology: She literally Shiv-ed her brother in the back.
Kendall is definitely gonna kill himself. He finally knows that he’ll never be what his dad was. He’s out of the game. And a Kendall that’s left to his own devices with all the free time in the world is a very dangerous person. Also, read the room random guy who gets in the elevator with Ken at the end. Etymology: Kendall’s name refers to somehow from the Kent River Valley in England. While he doesn’t end up in England, Kendall does find himself staring out at a river in the midst of his own emotional valley in the end.
Greg has perhaps the most perfect ending of any character on any show ever. After yet another bumbling miscalculation, he is saved by his lord and protector Tom, who puts a sticker on his head, claiming him as his prized possession. Etymology: In Greek, Gregory means “watchful or vigilant.” Seems appropriate for a guy who is always looking for an angle to play.
Logan is still dead, but got a great deal on his mausoleum so kind of a wash. Etymology: Logan is derived from a Scottish/Gaelic word meaning “hollow.” Appropriate for an emotionally empty man. Also his coffin is pretty hollow heyo.
Tom snaked his way to the top of the corporate ladder. You have to hand it to the guy. He kissed the right asses every step along the way and came out the victor. Etymology: His first name is pretty generic, but his last name…
Winner of the show: Tom
Wambsfans stand the fuck up! I was mocked and ridiculed for two seasons for riding with my man Tom. But I have an eye for talent and I saw potential in that boy. Yes, he basically agreed to let someone else fuck his wife, but who cares? Tom is in the big chair baby! Nobody can take that away from him. (Except Matsson literally whenever he wants).
Honorable mentions: Gerri/Karolina
Two of the only people who were actually good at their jobs get rewarded in the end. They’ll have a premier place in Tom’s new administration.
Honorable mention: Lukas Matsson
Matsson wore a bathrobe and compared himself to Jesus. He’s a douche who will likely get me-too’d in the near future, but for now he comes away victorious.
Loser of the show: Kendall
Yeah I mean, what can I say that I haven’t already said? Kendall built his entire life around a job then didn’t get the job. That’s going to haunt him forever. This dude’s demons have demons now.
He’s left with no family, friends, or company, and is followed around by Colin, one of the only people on earth who knows about Kendall’s involvement in the drowning death of the waiter. He’s literally being followed around by that memory.
Finally, even when Kendall the character ceases to exist, he’s still just Jeremy Strong, which honestly might be a worse mind to live in.
Honorable mention: Hugo
Just the absolute worst start to finish. Got way too thin a neck and is definitely getting fired the second Tom signs his contract.
Honorable mention: Pierce Global Media
Not really a thread that needed to be tied off but they’re screwed right? No one is buying them now lol.
Top 15 Quotes of the Week
Fuck it, let’s go big for the last one:
15. “You’ve fallen in love finally. You’ve fallen in love with our scheduling opportunity.” - Tom
If you can get your calendar aligned with your partner, you’re pretty close to love honestly.
14. “The fish will just be gummy by the time you get back.” - Caroline
Gummy fish does suck in fairness.
13. “I have a very high tolerance for pain and physical discomfort.” - Tom
Pain yes, physical discomfort no. You put me in a slightly confined space and I will lash the fuck out.
12. “After two sticking perambulating circuits, objects will then be assigned to the highest sticker bidder.” - Connor
Just give everyone a room’s worth of shit man.
11. “So you’ll like give us a job at the mall? Teach us the value of money.” - Roman
I could honestly use that.
10. “New Jess, New Jess!” - Kendall
He was his father in the end.
9. “He’s a highly interchangeable modular part. And I would say that to his face.” - Shiv
That’s a good hard take.
8. “Which? Like you’ve killed so many people you forgot which one?” - Roman
Who can even keep track of their kill count these days?
7. “Yeah, that’s sexy. They call that the 2nd week itch I believe.” - Roman
Gotta remember to keep dating your wife. Marriage tends to get stale in that first fortnight.
6. “Don’t go down on Peter’s special cheese!” - Kendall
Peter would be the asshole who has certain items just for him cause he’s fake lactose intolerant.
5. “Can I quad it up? Like full quad?” - Greg
Pick a fucking side Greg.
4. “You like pancakes and waffles and you kiss guys on Molly. You’re not the heart of darkness. You’re a grilled cheese with a sucked dick.” - Kendall
I’ve read that last sentence 50 times over the last week and I still don’t get it.
3. “Peter doesn’t like the knobbies darling!” - Roman
And Dobby is a free elf!
2. “Cunt is as cunt does” - Kendall
I think Chaucer said that.
1. “I am the eldest boy!” - Kendall
A hysterically desperate last plea from a hysterically desperate man.
In conclusion
Wow, wow. What a finale. There were like 15 lead changes throughout that hour and a half. The Next Gen Stats probability chart would have been a damn rollercoaster. In the end, I really think this show will stand the test of time as one of the greatest to ever do it. You could easily make a case that this belongs on the Mt. Rushmore of all-time television.
The finale itself resolved each character’s story perfectly. We went through this show trying to decipher which Roy child could be the next Logan — which one showed those flashes of decisiveness and confidence. And ultimately what we realized is there could NEVER be another Logan.
How the fuck could there be? The Roy kids never had to work a day in their life. Everything was handed to them on a literal silver platter.
Shiv was far too inexperienced, and always let her emotions cloud her judgement, resulting in a grave miscalculation that cost her family their business. Also, this person thinking Shiv was a girl boss and champion of women is deluded. She literally pressured a sexual assault survivor not to testify against her attacker.
Roman is certainly smart, but he’s just too infantile to ever be taken seriously as a leader.
Kendall is unstable and gets bogged down by his own personal problems and could fill a Ted Talk with just bullshit jargon.
Logan was a self-made man who came up from nothing. Try as they might, his kids could never have the sheer force of will needed to grind your way to the top. The silver spoon is nice, but my God does it stunt your development as a person.
Tom, for all his faults, DID have to grind to get where he is. He didn’t exactly come from nothing, and he cut the line a bit dating Shiv, but he still had to fend for himself and be scrappy to rise up the corporate ladder. He was someone who didn’t play silly games and fuck about. Tom knew who he was and how to get ahead. There’s something to be said about being honest with yourself. Yeah, he’s a spineless sycophant, but at least he knew it and used it to his advantage. All the Roys wasted their time pretending to be versions of themselves that never existed and look where that got them.
Tom won’t ever command a room, but he has the talent and experience to do the job as it needs to be done. That’s more than can be said for any of the Roy children.
Perhaps the most appropriate thing about Succession’s final episode is that it ends with the Roy siblings all defeated in some way. And you almost start to feel for them. As Kendall gazes out at the powerful river and likely ponders jumping in, you feel a twinge of empathy for this broken man. Then you realize that these three seemingly devastated individuals just made about $2 billion dollars each. And therein lies the beauty of Succession. It made a bunch of power-hungry, selfish, spoiled rich brats seem like deeply complex, and at times, redeemable characters.
Succession was a masterclass in storytelling, character development, and especially in writing. It was the perfect blend of smart & funny, building deeply complex characters and staying true to them throughout the show’s run. Succession was never going to end on a positive note. It would be disingenuous to the viewers to force a happily ever after in this cutthroat and brutal world they created. The show’s ending made perfect sense dramaturgically, though it left you a bit unsettled. Not a pleasant feeling to experience, but the perfect one for this show.
So with one of the greatest shows in American television history now concluded, I end with this: Goodbye Succession, and thank you. From start to finish, nearly every episode was captivating and an absolute pleasure to watch. You stuck the landing, you finished the race, and we shall never see your like again.
Now fuck off!
