Is the Fatty Liver the most gay-friendly company in the world?
Here at the Liver, we (I) pride ourselves (myself) on being politically impartial. It’s one of the founding tenants of this blog, right alongside sharing every time I have diarrhea (currently).
Politics is divisive and, save for when Big Daddy Joe eats shit every few months, far too boring to generate any worthwhile content out of.
So as a general rule, I steer clear of the entire arena. But then this morning, I received a troubling text from a close friend:
What he’s referring to, of course, are the pride flag logos that pop up on social media during Pride Month. Companies demonstrate their allyship and commitment to diversity, equity, and inclusion by placing a rainbow backdrop on their existing logo and then…nope that’s it. Check out these two examples from notable American brands:
This isn’t the gluten-free bakery down the street preaching peace and love. These are two renowned and revered American brands in two of the most notoriously philanthropic industries, private equity and big pharma. Bain and Pfizer are companies that always put people before profits, so there’s no way they could both be full of shit. Seeing their bold commitment to inclusion made me realize that I had some thinking to do.
As a big “live and let live, love is love, why can’t I legally marry this portrait of Tom Brady?” guy, I was first taken aback and disheartened by the message I had received. I’ve spent all this time thinking of myself as a champion of marriage equality and LGBTQ rights, and here I am being called out for my inaction during Pride Month.
It was an existential issue that I was forced to confront in strained silence during my 2nd of 5 dumps on the day. And upon further consideration of his criticism, I realized my friend was right. My silence on this issue is deafening.
You see, it’s not enough for brands to just be brands anymore. I don’t want to walk into a 7/11 and just buy a Slurpee. I want to know where that Slurpee stands on global warming.
By virtue of the $15/month I pay Squarepace, I have a platform. A fake platform that I gave to myself which holds no real power, but a platform nonetheless. The Fatty Liver reaches hundreds of people each year and ranks top 10 worldwide among organ-based comedy blogs (I’m coming for you ‘The Bloated Pancreas’). I have a voice and I need to use it for good.
So I set out to change my logo to the pride flag. However, as I do not possess even remedial graphic design skills and forgot how to edit the website design anyways, this idea was immediately nixed. But as I began to brainstorm other ways to demonstrate my commitment to the cause, something dawned on me…
Is the Fatty Liver actually already the most pro-Pride company out there?
Let’s look at the facts:
1. I have at least one gay friend
Would a non-ally have a gay friend? I think not. Also maybe it’s more than one. Got a couple buddies I’m keeping a close eye on.
2. I’m not pandering to the LGBTQ community
We’ve reached the point where having a pride flag behind your logo is almost an indictment of your brand’s LACK of inclusion. Work with me here.
What’s your first thought when you see an extremely vocal anti-gay politician? That guy is definitely gay, right?
This is the same idea but in reverse. If a company is throwing up the pride flag, then they’re trying too hard to prove they’re pro-gay rights and therefore have some skeletons in the closet. Or out of the closet, I guess. Either way, me thinks the lady doth protest too much.
3. I’m a straight white guy
But George, isn’t that the exact demographic that is historically responsible for pretty much all issues of oppression and inequality. Yes, fair point. HOWEVER, ask yourself this: who acts gayer than straight white guys?
Like 80% of our “jokes” are about how we should hookup with each other, or genuinely want to hookup but in a joking way, or referencing times where we actually did hookup as a prank then dated for multiple years for the bit.
See? I’m doing it now.
So in summation, by NOT employing a pride logo for the month, the Fatty Liver is actually the most inclusive blog/company in the world. All are welcome to enjoy this sometimes funny blog. Happy Pride.
