The Fatty Liver

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My gambling origin story

Those of you Fatties who have been with me for a while and/or know me personally, are aware that I’m a gambler.

Not like a problem gambler. It’s only a problem if I’m losing right, haha? (I am).

But very few of you out there know the true story of how my gambling career came to be. You see, my proverbial toe dip into the wagering waters didn’t come about by literal chance or through sheer curiosity. My gambling career was born out of necessity.


Let’s flash back to the winter of 2016. A then 20-year old George is nearing the end of his semester abroad in Cork City, Ireland (I went abroad — I’m smarter/better than you, etc).

In fact, I had just about two weeks left before I was to return home to Boston and sample lukewarm, foamy Guinness served in a Dixie cup.

And I had a problem. A BIG problem.

You see, the summer prior to my foreign excursion, I had worked multiple jobs and saved up a good deal of money to fund my adventures. Roughly $6,000 if memory serves. But after multiple weekend getaways around Europe, extensive beer consumption, and a weird penchant for buying exotic meats, I found myself down to my final $200.

Not $200 of the money I had set aside to travel. I was down to the last $200 in my bank account.

So, faced with the prospect of not eating, or worse, enduring a booze-less 7-hour flight home, I realized drastic measures had to be taken to replenish my funds.

Getting a job was out of the question because I literally wasn’t allowed to work over there. And besides, I wasn’t just looking for a couple bucks to get me through the next few weeks. I needed real money to last me through my second semester. I would be turning 21 soon and wasn’t about to miss out on legal trips to the bar because I couldn’t afford a $5 cover.

And remember, this was college. I didn’t need real life money like I do now. I had no rent, no utilities, and no real need for groceries. All I needed was a couple grand for beer and the occasional dinner.

So basically I needed to, (trigger warning for all my startup people), 10x my bank account if I wanted to get through the next 4 months before an internship saved me. And there’s really only three ways to quickly turn $200 into $2000:

  1. Day trading

  2. Drug dealing

  3. Gambling

I couldn’t day trade because I’m more familiar with medieval stocks than financial ones.

Drug dealing was out of the question because I didn’t feel like getting thrown in Irish prison and Irish drugs are like DRUG DRUGS.

But gambling…that I could do.

I had always been curious about sports betting. After all, I studied sports and matchups just as a hobby. But I was also a sheltered goodie two shoes who was overly cautious and slightly afraid of the sudden freedom I had been afforded in a foreign land. It was a real angel and devil on the shoulder conundrum for me.

However, with bankruptcy and sobriety looming, my darker nature won out and my gambling career began, in earnest, on a website called Bovada. I put $100 of my final $200 into the site, and placed my first wager.

College basketball season had just begun and there were plenty of early season tournaments to bet on, so I decided to place a parlay on two matchups in the Hawaiian Invitational. I didn’t know much about any of the teams involved, but the picks seemed logical enough.

Unfortunately for me, those games start at 10PM EST which is 4AM Irish time. Too nervous to sleep, I stayed up all night watching the games on the most illegal stream known to man and witnessed with very tired eyes, the first win of my gambling career.

It was exhilarating for me and alarming for my friend back in Boston who texted me about the game and received an immediate reply at what was 5AM for me.

My Bovada account updated to reflect my new balance: $200. I had doubled my money in a matter of 3 hours. It was right then that I knew — I was hooked.


Fast forward a week and a half. My beginner’s luck had quickly worn off and my betting account went from $200, down to the original $100, then down even further to $50. Turns out everyone was right about gambling. It doesn’t matter how much you know. You’ll never outsmart Vegas.

Frustrated and desperate, I knew I had to literally go for broke. It was my last night in Ireland, I had several stouts in me, and I didn’t care anymore. I threw down a 3-team parlay on college basketball. The bet was $50, the last of the money in my betting account.

I don’t recall what the first two legs of the bet were, only that when I checked the scores a few hours later, both teams had won easily. However, I remember the third leg vividly.

It was Loyola Chicago (one year before their miracle tournament run) playing against the University of Illinois Chicago. Loyola was the better team but it was a fairly even matchup. When I opened the ESPN app to nervously check the score, my heart sank. Loyola was down 3 points, with 7 seconds left in the game, and UIC shooting two free throws to ice the game. I didn’t need to see the last seven seconds play out — I knew the game was over. I lost. I was broke.


The next day, I finished packing my shit, gave like $70 worth of change to a homeless guy because Europe has too many fucking coins, and headed to Dublin for my flight home.

Once at the airport, I figured I should close out my online gambling account and start figuring out what fast food chains would hire someone who has open disrespect for their sanitation standards.

But when I logged into Bovada, I noticed something odd — there was money in my account. $200 to be exact.

Confused, I jumped into the ESPN app and checked the score of the Loyola game.

Loyola Chicago - 81, UIC - 75 Final/OT.

Unbeknownst to me, UIC missed both of those free throws they were attempting when I exited out of the app. And down three with 7 seconds remaining, Loyola’s Dante Ingram did this:

In case what happened wasn’t clear because the Horizon League apparently can’t afford a running clock, Ingram threw up a contested three and drained it essentially at the buzzer to tie the game. Loyola went on to win the game in overtime, affording me a $150 parlay win and keeping my gambling career alive for another day.

I was stunned but invigorated and decided the gambling gods were on my side. Trying to keep the momentum going, I opted to bet a $100 5-game NFL parlay. It was NFL Sunday and all the games were going to take place while I was in the air. With no wifi or cable, I had absolutely no clue how my bet had performed.

6 hours later I landed in Boston. Because I still had my European sim card, I didn’t have any cell service in the States. So on the car ride home, I asked my brother if the 5 teams I bet had won. And believe it or not, every one of them had.

That bet won me $600. Fast forward a month or so of good gambling later and I cashed out $2,000 from Bovada and somehow got a bank to cash a very sketchy Canadian check. My bank account and second semester were saved and an absolute gambling fiend was born. What a run.

PS. If the name Dante Ingram sounds familiar, here’s what he did about a year and a half after he made that crucial shot. The man has a flair for the dramatic.