Alright this will be a quick one, just wanted to vent about something that’s been bugging me for months.

I take a long walk virtually every day because getting outside is good for my mentals and I use it to justify not doing real exercise.

Anyways, I like to grab a coffee at this place a block away from my apartment before I start the walk. In getting there, I have to walk by a small boutique. And for the better part of 4 months, the boutique has had this sign out front:

Now on the surface there’s nothing wrong with this. It’s a fun promotion designed to get people to stop and maybe even come in the store right?

Sure, that’s fine. But let’s break this down line by line:

Guess 1: Shirt

Ok, good start. Lot of commonly used letters in there. Picked up two essential clues. Well done.

Guess 2: Retro

Immediately threw away the strong start. First off, completely ignored the S that we know is in there, which is fine if you’re putting in 5 new letters to eliminate more possibilities. But then they throw in not one, but TWO R’s?! We knocked out R in round one, stop trying to make R happen. But hey no harm, no foul. We picked up a third letter and eliminated another vowel. Still in great shape.

Guess 3: Haute

Alright, now they’re fucking with me. Round 3 is like a greatest hits album of Rounds 1 and 2. We already established there’s no H or E, but fuck it let’s get em back in there. Maybe the answer changed while they were thinking up some more R-heavy words. Surprised they didn’t guess ‘RARER’. Also get tf out of here with ‘HAUTE” — you’re not Chanel. Yeah that’s right. I know fashion. I just choose not to have it.

Guess 4: Model

Second to last chance because apparently they play 5-round Wordle. Guess when you got their skills you don’t need the full 6. I get that you’re a boutique, but guessing all fashion related answers probably isn’t a winning strategy. Think we should also just accept that they’re going to their grave thinking there’s an ‘E’ in this word. They remembered there’s an O to use so that’s good I guess. All in all this was a terrible effort that has put us in a position to take, at best, an educated guess.

Guess 5: ?

I’ve spent extensive time looking this over (2 minutes) and I’m going to go with ‘BOOTS’ as the final answer. Any time you have an O in the two-hole you have to explore the possibility that it’s being repeated in the 3-spot. Obviously it’s going to be fashion related, and boots is the only word that makes sense here (first word I thought of).

And now we wait…