One thing I love this week: Sleeping it off
Really quick one today because I annoyingly have real work to do.
As some of you know/don’t care about, I’ve been in Florida for the better part of a month. The weather is warm, everything is sunny and bright, and I can get out and be active.
This means two things:
The likelihood of me falling into a bottomless bit of despair from the “bleak mid-winter” weather the Peaky Blinders guys are always murmuring about just before they die, is significantly reduced.
I can enjoy a few adult beverages poolside.
Up north, I tend to only drink on the weekends for the sake of my health and because I don’t need to pile more chemical imbalance on top of what already exists in my brain.
But down here, everything is so pleasant, and I’m in such a relaxed state, that a few beers or fruity umbrella drinks just make the day even more enjoyable.
The only issue: the hangovers.
I’d venture to say that most of the people who read this blog are around my age or older. And as I’ve mentioned in previous iterations of this blog, the hangovers at 25+ are just exceedingly more violent than your late teens/early 20s. They last for multiple days, really affect your mentals, and just throw off your entire week.
But down here, I think I’ve finally figured out how to beat them. You see, when I was hungover in college, I always had to get up the next morning and do something. And as a young adult, I always had to get up the morning after a Thursday night binge and go to work. And even when I didn’t have to do anything in the morning, I was so decimated from the consecutive nights of boozing that even sleeping wouldn’t do the trick.
As I’ve aged and kind of matured however, my drinking frequency naturally decreased. And though the effect of the hangovers was much worse, the hangovers themselves were far more irregular. Now I’ve reached a point where I’m rarely hungover unless I throw caution to the wind and decide to have a big night. Take for example yesterday. Big football day. My dad, brother, and I went to a bar to watch the early game. Then came home and had some beers while we were smoking ribs. Then busted out some wine with dinner. I wasn’t really drunk at any point, but it was a long day of drinking. And all those hours can stack up and cause you some problems the next day. But they didn’t. I woke up this morning, and aside from some cravings for a breakfast burger, I felt completely fine.
The key to my transformation? Planning.
I can go into a weekend now having a rough idea of what nights there will be an occasion to drink. And if I plan my nights out correctly, I can avoid by hangover entirely just by sleeping it off.
Here’s how:
Drink two nights a week — max. Don’t listen to that doctor bullshit that if you consume 10 total drinks in a week you’re an alcoholic. Ok, so everyone on earth is an alcoholic then you stethoscope-wearing nerd.
The days you drink must be days where you’ll have absolutely ZERO obligations the next morning. Can’t stress this enough. Make sure you can sleep as late as you want.
Know your body/tolerance. Everyone has some alcohol that obliterates them no matter what. For me, it’s gin. Can’t touch the stuff if I want to be standing by the end of the night. But conversely, you also have an alcohol that you would have to drink an entire tank of to get really banged up. For me, that’s seltzers or light beers. Could put away a million of those and only be slightly buzzed. Go into a big drinking night knowing that those are going to be your main beverage for the evening.
Get your ducks in a row. Prep, prep, prep. This is huge. Make sure you get a good meal in before the drinking begins. Make sure you’re hydrated before the drinking begins. These aren’t groundbreaking tips, but if you ignore them, you’re getting hungover no matter what you do. Have a big jug of water, Ibuprofen, and TUMS ready to rock on your nightstand. If they’re not in reaching distance you aren’t going to use them.
Sleep it the fuck off. This is the essential piece. Once you go to bed, stay in bed until you no longer feel pain behind your eyes. Now you’re likely going to wake up a few times to take a piss or get water, etc. And those wake-ups are going to SUCK. You’ll have dry mouth, a throbbing headache, heartburn, the whole nine. That’s normal — don’t be discouraged. These premature awakenings are actually an essential piece of the puzzle. While you’re up taking care of what you need to, always make sure to scarf down a few TUMS, swallow a couple ibuprofen, and chug that water. Check the time on your phone if you have to, but that’s it. Close you eyes and go right back to sleep. If you wake up again, drink more water, then right back to sleep. Keep doing this until you wake up and feel mostly like your normal self.
Remember prep is everything here. Obviously if you have morning obligations this routine isn’t possible. The other piece to focus on here is mental resilience. You may have an awakening around 10-11 AM where you think “I’m such a piece of shit, I need to get up and be a productive member of society.”
No you don’t. Society will be fine. Ignore the part of your brain that’s telling you to function. Pass the fuck out until such a point that you can get up, have a glass of water and a greasy breakfast sandwich at 2 in the afternoon, and enjoy the rest of your day as normal.
Remember: hangovers don’t have to be a part of your life. You can avoid them with a little planning and a lot of sleeping. Or by not drinking so much, but where’s the fun in that?
