Introducing Quiet Cart Talk
Golf is a game I’ve always enjoyed, but played sparingly.
Like any suburban kid, I grew up within about 3 miles of 6 golf courses. But I was never as big a player as some of my friends. I’d get out 3 times a summer, but no more. No real reason for it — I was just always playing different sports.
As such, I never fully understood the nuances of the game. If you asked me my golf handicap, I would respond “tendinitis.”
But having spent the last month in Florida with abundant free time and a golf course in spitting distance, I decided to really make a go at playing consistently and committing myself to improving.
And because I’m vaguely coordinated and can generate a ton of raw power from my lunch lady arms, I have the potential to be a good player. I know how to hit the ball the right way, and am learning to use restraint and touch instead of swinging through my shoes and taking out a family of nesting blue jays with every shot.
Last round was the first time I actually tried to go for control over distance and power, and, lo and behold, I played my best 9 holes ever. 3 pars and only one ball lost to the gators.
None of that has anything to do with the videos I’m about to post — I just wanted to brag about the 3 pars and the fact that I can hit a 7-iron like 185 yards. Bottom line is I’ve been playing a lot of golf down here.
And part of the reason I enjoy playing so much is because I love the golf lifestyle. I love whipping around in a golf cart, I love mid-round beers, I love teeing off with a lit cigar in my mouth, and I love responding to the question, “How’d you hit ‘em” by saying “Eh a little to the left.”
Because of all this and the fact that I can’t do any activity without making it ironic, I present to you the first four installments of Quiet Cart Talk, my new 30-second talk show where I talk in a golf announcers voice and say things that are sort of funny, but not really. And no, idk what’s wrong with the audio. The video files themselves aren’t the problem so idk. Just ignore the duplicate audio and wildly out of sync audio-visual experience. Enjoy!
