Alright now that we’re all caught up with Episode 7, let’s turn our attention to Episode 8 of Succession’s 4th season, America Decides.

This was a wild, dark, chaotic episode that involved some major character development (or regression depending on how you look at it). Let's dive right in:

Episode 8 Recap: Eggplant, Eggplant, Flag

“Information, Greg. It’s like a bottle of fine wine. You store it. You hoard it. You save it for a special occasion. Then you smash someone’s fucking face in with it.”

It is election eve at ATN and our pal Tom is stressed out of his fucking skull. His career essentially rides on this election and he knows it. ATN needs to generate big-time ratings if he wants to have a chance to stay at the helm of news.

That’s why we shouldn’t be surprised he’s demeaning Greg, doing drugs, and overstating his own value (apparently he’s a missed coffee break away from Taiwan getting nuked). He also had his own Connor moment freaking out about something innocuous, in this case the touch screen.

More importantly than Tom’s career, the entire future of Waystar Royco hangs in the balance as the new presidential elect will decide whether or not the GoJo deal goes through.

“My team’s playing your team.”

It’s a house divided in the Roy war room as Roman is unsurprisingly supporting his father’s pick, conservative Jeryd Mencken, while Shiv is pulling for liberal Daniel Jimenez. Ken seems to be supporting Jimenez outwardly, though his allegiance seems to be up for grabs.

(Honestly, the most unrealistic part of this entire episode is that the presidential race is between two seemingly coherent men under the age of 50. Also, no one named Jeryd, especially spelled that way, will ever be elected president of anything. Sloppy writing).

With direct lines to both campaigns, Shiv and Roman trade barbs, each asserting their candidate is confident in their chances based on their choice of emoji. Oddly enough, that scene was more nuanced political conversation than 99% of what occurs on Twitter.

However, in very Twitter fashion much of the “debate” between the opposing siblings consists of them just shouting buzzwords at each other. Roman goes with “false flag” while Shiv prefers the lesser-used “pluralism.”

Interestingly, no one who uses the phrase false flag actually knows what it means, and no one who uses the word pluralism actually believes in it.

This episode was a brilliant, if not harrowing commentary on how stupid political discourse in the US has become. Just two idiots, entrenched in their positions, trying to yell louder than the other person and gaslight each other to death. Great Reddit analysis on Shiv here btw:

“The ConHeads are coming.”

I’d be remised if I didn’t at least mention the third man vying for the Oval Office, Mr. 1% himself (in more than one sense), Connor Roy.

Frankly, I think it’s a tragedy that Connor didn’t get more votes. I blame Kentucky. If that state goes green or whatever the fuck color his party is, it’s a whole different ballgame. I also must levy some blame on his multiple running mates who failed to understand his dream of a tax-free America. Some people just lack vision.

Regardless, Connor manages to give a concession speech that is the perfect mix of delusional, funny, and terrifying. His speech was frankly more worrying to me than Mencken’s. He sent out a call to arms to his legion of idiot followers. We’re looking at Jan.6 times a billion if they ever mobilize.

“Is that a play?”

“Hey honey, we’re pregnant!”

“…Is that a play? What’s your angle?” - me to my future wife

Tom is so hopped up on coffee, coke, and gas station sushi that he can’t even fully register his wife telling him she’s pregnant with his first child.

It’s an abrupt and telling scene as Shiv drops the bomb on him seemingly at random in the midst of an argument. Tom’s reaction is symbolic of their relationship and frankly of the entire show. He can’t process a major piece of personal news without assuming it’s some sort of angle that Shiv is working to gain power.

This proves to be an extremely relevant theme in the episode…

“Pending call.”

The real meat of this episode is the character degradation that occurs when the race starts to tighten and the ballot controversy in Wisconsin comes to the forefront.

Competition has always been at the heart of Succession. Much like Game of Thrones before it, Succession’s entire story is meant to build towards an eventual winner — the person who will chair Waystar Royco into the future.

But as this episode fully confirms, it’s a competition that we, as a viewing audience, don’t want to see won. It’s further validation of what we’ve all known for some time: These characters are irredeemable.

As viewers, we’re trained to expect certain patterns. Good triumphs over evil. The couple gets together at the end. The plain looking girl in glasses is actually super hot when she takes off the glasses and apparently didn’t need them in the first place cause she seems to be seeing ok.

Our brains expect these outcomes because it’s all we know from years of media conditioning. What Succession does so well is to break from these conventions and present an alternate hypothesis: what if all these characters just fucking suck?

Even having watched this show for its duration and seen the moral failings of these characters time and time again, I still find myself expecting one of them to reveal themself as the good guy.

Roman was clearly in pursuit of self interest the entire episode, as his close ties to Mencken would give him the most power at Waystar. But Shiv and Kendall each expressed what I initially thought to be signs of selflessness.

Shiv seemed genuinely concerned about the prospect of a Mencken presidency — concern which I initially mistook as a shift in perspective now that she is expecting a child. I believed that she was contemplating what type of world she would be bringing her child into. In actuality, she was petrified to realize that a Mencken presidency would mean that the GoJo deal gets axed and she loses her inside track to controlling Waystar.

Kendall also seemed initially to be thinking of his family, especially his children, when he expressed support for Jimenez. However in true Kendall fashion, he was merely trying to delude himself into believing that he is the hero of his own story. When he finally breaks down and admits he’s not a good dad, it’s confirmation that he didn’t actually care about his family’s best interests. Not when the tantalizing taste of power is oh so close. He supports Mencken because it makes sense for his own personal position.

Winner of the week: Roman

Yeah he was acting without morals and openly trying to sort of rig an election, but hey, it kind of worked. Watching Roman conduct himself with total assurance and confidence, I found myself, for the first time reminded of Logan by one of the Roy children. He pulled Logan-esque moves to ensure that he can have the POTUS in his back pocket.

He decisively and ruthlessly demanded that Wisconsin/Arizona be called for Mencken, making him, in the eyes of ATN anyways, the next president of the United States. It’s a power move executed by Roman in an effort to legitimize the victory for the supposed president-elect AND generate buzz for ATN. It was a shrewd, albeit fucked up way to boost his status in front of the board.

Loser of the week: Jimenez

Brutal loss, but hey that’s what you get for being a boring guy in a suit. Flop your dick out, pop a nut, do something! (You know you’re down bad when Hugo chirps you).

Top 7 Quotes of the Week

7. “I am, in fact, a billionaire.” - Connor

Hey way to relate to your base in Middle America there Con.

6. “I’ve got good arches. They’ve been remarked upon.” - Tom

I envy him. I have New Balance arch support + orthotics.

5. “I don’t run around town like some fucking food bike guy.” - Roman

Gotta respect being so out of touch that you don’t know the term ‘delivery guy’.

4. “It’s not that lemony! It’s just a hint of lemon.” - Greg

Just a hysterical sequence of events.

3. “Are you pretending to do Coke?! - Tom

At least sell the snort if you’re going to try to pantomime it Greg.

2. “What are you saying all Aztecs are stupid? Don’t be a racist little bitch about it.” - Tom

Credit where it’s due; that is the best peer pressuring I’ve ever seen. They don’t cover doing drugs to avoid being characterized as racist in D.A.R.E.

1. “His crew knows some unseemly venues. I danced with an old man. He didn’t want to dance, but they made us dance. He was so confused. I drank things that aren’t normally drinks.” - Greg

Was laughing hysterically to myself in my bed at like 2AM. This is vintage Greg and reads like a Stefon sketch.

Going forward

This brilliant episode really brought into focus the point of the entire series. The winner of the competition implied in the show’s title is ultimately irrelevant. There can be no true winner of Succession. The show is instead about the moral erosion that results from the blind pursuit of power. You can claim the throne, but the price is your soul.

Roman now appears ready and willing to part with that soul of his. Let’s see if he furthers enhances his status with his eulogy or collapses under the weight of the moment.

Two more to go. I’m exsaded (excited/sad combined).