Drake Maye no matter what.

I’m writing this roughly 3 hours before the New England Patriots are scheduled to be on the clock with the third pick in the 2024 NFL draft.

And I’m a nervous fucking wreck.

Why? Because I’ve never been in this position before. As a Boston sports fan who grew up in the 2000s, I’ve seen it all — championships, big rivalry games, crushing defeats. I know those roads. I still get nervous, I still feel a range of emotions, but I’m ready for them. Having been in all of those situations, I understand how to manage my emotions. (Blatant lie, broke my pinkie finger punching a brick wall when the Bruins lost the Cup in 2019).

But I ain’t never done this before.

For the first time in my lifetime, the New England Patriots have a single digit pick. And it is driving me to the brink of insanity. My friends and family can attest that I have been spending every waking hour of my free time since DECEMBER scouring the internet for draft film, rumors, opinions, mock drafts, you name it. And months ago, I settled on a simple conclusion: The New England Patriots need to draft UNC QB Drake Maye if he’s there at #3.

Look how cool he is!

In the Belichick era, we would likely trade this pick and accumulate assets and I would be extremely annoyed. But there’s a new regime in charge and I, like many beleaguered Pats fans, are hoping they will do what Belichick so often failed to: just take the obvious pick.

You see, Belichick the coach was still sharp as ever at the time of his firing. But Belichick the GM created his own downfall by getting too cute with it. He seemingly reveled in dealing away premium picks for a stockpile of 4th and 5th rounders. Or ignoring an obvious position of need for depth in a position with plenty of it already. Or, most maddeningly, trying to outsmart everyone by picking the single most obscure guy on the board well ahead of his draft position based on some intangible bullshit that somehow only he sees.

And look, I still love and always will love Bill. He certainly hit on a few of those obscure players. Julian Edelman, a short QB from Kent State, and a hard-hitting safety named Kyle Dugger from something called Lenoir-Rhyne, which to this day I still think is a midwestern law firm, stand out as against the grain home run picks. He also scooped up some skinny beanpole of a QB from Michigan in the 6th round back in 2000. Pretty sure that guy had a few good years in the show.

But for every great Belichick value pick, there was an atrocious evaluation in a premium draft spot that set the franchise back. Cole Strange, a 3rd-4th round value picked in the late first. Tyquan Thornton, a 5th-round value picked in the 2nd. Justin Rohrwasser, an unknown, vaguely racist kicker who wasn’t even good in college, picked in the 5th round with an undrafted insurance salesman value. Oh and my personal favorite: N’Keal Harry. The only wideout Belichick ever picked in the first round. He chose a contested catch merchant who couldn’t run a route or gain separation for his life over these two monsters:

Like no shit those guys were going to be studs. You don’t need any football experience to know those two are unbelievable athletes.

And that brings me back to my larger point here. We never, for whatever reason, just take the freak — the beast of a person who can jump out of the building, run like the Flash, and looks like God chiseled him out of pure Grecian marble. That’s what I’m asking for in a couple hours. Just take the freak.

Drake Maye is 6’4” 235 lbs. He has a fucking cannon for a right arm. He is athletic, can run, and is competitive as hell. And he has the swagger of a winner. Plus, he played on UNC so he’s used to dealing with useless receivers and no offensive line. Maye, would give us a chance at what we haven’t had since Tom Brady roamed these parts: an elite QB.

I’ve watched HOURS of his film, read every article there is about him as a leader, as a man, as a competitor and I’m all in. I have a gut feeling that he’s the right guy to bring us back to prominence. Look at these fucking highlights:

All the tools are there. He just needs good coaching to bring it all together.

There are people who question his mechanics, which is fair. But the upside is so high that if you give him just a little time to improve behind the scenes and become more polished, he could be a top ten QB in this league no question. And given the state of our team, we certainly aren’t in win now mode where we need to rush him onto the field.

There are people who want to trade down, take safer picks at other positions of need and build up the roster BEFORE getting a QB. I get that line of thinking. Our offense is like 3 decent O-lineman, a solid back, and like five WR3’s. It’s a tough scene in there. But if you have a chance at a franchise QB, you take it.

And finally, there are people who think we should take a different QB, Michigan’s JJ McCarthy. Now I have nothing against JJ personally. By all accounts he seems like a great young man with a winning pedigree. Having said that, I don’t want that Gen Z-haired, meditating hipster, mobile Mac Jones clone anywhere near my team. Why? Because it signals that you’re scared. Drake Maye is a risky pick with his inconsistent footwork and mechanics and all that. JJ represents the safer route. Take a guy with good athleticism, a pretty solid arm, who can, as he did in college, manage the game and not make too many mistakes. And it worked well. He went 27-1 at Michigan and won a Natty just 4 months ago.

The thing is, HE NEVER THREW THE FUCKING BALL. Because his team was so dominant, Michigan mostly ran the ball and relied on their defense to close out games once they had a lead. If you have a superstar top five NFL QB in college, I don’t care what offense you run or how many points you’re winning by — you don’t ask him not to throw it. It would be like owning a Lamborghini but only driving it to go get your mail. It just doesn’t make sense.

The dude has talent, no doubt, but not #3 overall talent. You take him in the early 2nd and I’m sure you’ll be pretty pleased with what you get. But I just don’t see him being anything more than a decent starting QB in the NFL. And you don’t draft decent at #3, you draft superstar potential.

I actually have a friend, we’ll call him Dave (that’s his real name), who is very high on JJ McCarthy (in a trade-down scenario). Granted he’s a Michigan fan, but we’ll put the obvious bias and terrible fandom aside for a second. His reasoning is simple: JJ can get your team back to the middle of the pack with consistent play. He also has the mental fortitude to stand up to an unforgiving sports environment in New England. Dave, who’s house I have threatened to burn down many times over the past few weeks in the event that we do select McCarthy, is approaching this, in my view, incorrectly. Trading down and taking the “safer” option is what loser organizations do. It’s playing not to lose. And as for the mental fortitude piece, the dude literally meditates on the field just to stay calm before every game. Nothing against meditation especially for someone who overcame mental health issues, but it’s going to be kind of tough to focus when some scumbag townie from the Dot is calling you a bitch from the 300-level. Not saying that’s a nice thing to do, but it is the reality of Foxborough, MA.

Bottom line is if you need a franchise QB, you don’t step up to the plate and look to leg out a single. You throw in 5 ounces of chaw, pick up a corked Easton Stealth and swing out of your fucking shoes for a homerun. That’s what Drake Maye represents — a home run swing. And sure, you might whiff. That’s the risk of taking a big rip. But if you hit on a guy like Maye, whose ceiling is the moon, then you’re set to be competitive for the next 15 years. So I ask, no, I beg of you Patriots, do the obvious thing tonight. Make the move that everyone says you should make. For once in the history of this organization, just take take the fucking swing and pick the freak. Draft Drake Maye.

(Unless he goes #2 then take Jayden Daniels I guess. Oh and trade back into the first for AD Mitchell or BTJ. That’s my ideal draft).