Breaking down Scottie Scheffler’s Masters menu
Ahh the Masters — a tradition unlike any other. A chance for the world’s greatest golfers to win the sports top prize on the biggest stage, and a chance for me to place five $100 futures on the winner of the tournament and lose them all.
Truly the grandest tradition in all of sports.
Part of that tradition is the annual Masters dinner, in which the previous year’s winner chooses the menu for a commemorative feast honoring all past champions.
The meal is often a representation of the Green Jacket wearer’s cultural heritage. For instance, Hideki Matsuyama had sushi in honor of his native Japan.
John Rahm highlighted the vibrant flavors of Spain with jamón iberico and croquetas.
And Patrick Reed made sure the fat scumbag community was well represented with chicken nuggets and Goldschläger (probably).
However, reigning champion Scottie Scheffler may have outdone them all. His menu is a pure work of art. Let’s break it down:
Appetizers
Cheeseburger sliders
Strong start here. Simple crowd pleaser that’s perfect for eating around those standing tables they put up at weddings before you’re allowed into the reception. Making them “Scottie-style” is a great touch as well. 80-85% chance that just means a normal cheeseburger with pickles and thousand island dressing, but it adds a personal touch.
Firecracker shrimp
Classic white guy food right here. Sounds asian, has asian ingredients, and yet I guarantee no one east of Uzbekistan has even fathomed this food. Gives all the stuffy whites a reason to say they’ve expanded their palette when they haven’t.
Papa Scheff’s meatball & ravioli bites
Love the personal touch throwing dad’s recipe in there. It’s fun, kind of downplays the whole formality of the situation, I think that’s funny as hell.
Also this item sounds unbelievable. Is it a ravioli stuffed with mini meatballs or some sort of ravioli sandwich? Either way I’ll take 100.
Appetizer grade: B+
First course
Texas-style chili
Got some flack for this take but…
First slight misstep here in my opinion — following up two beef courses with a beef chili. It’s redundant and far too heavy following a carb-heavy appetizer round.
This is why I never make chili for a tailgate or a big event. Everyone eats it first then gets too chili’d out so they don’t have room for the mains.
I’d swap in a light lobster bisque or maybe a gazpacho. Change up the flavors, incorporate some acid into an otherwise rich meal and add a touch of class to the whole thing.
We’re also overplaying the Texas thing now too. Is the chili served in a cowboy boot too Scottie? Is the bowl resting in the antlers of a slain steer? Reel it in man — we get it, you own guns.
Appetizer grade: C-
Main course
Wood-fired ribeye w/mac n cheese and jalapeño cream corn
Love it, love everything about it. Along with wings, ribeye happens to be my one of my two favorite food. Playing with fire a bit with the two heavy cream sides but you’re not eating a Texas feast to shed inches off the waistline.
Bathroom is gonna be a fucking warzone though.
Blackened redfish w/ soy-glazed brussels sprouts and chipotle-lime roasted sweet potatoes
If you’re the loser who orders fish at a steakhouse or the lunatic who chooses the fish option at the wedding, you know it’s traditionally an afterthought. Nine times out of ten they trot out an overcooked slab of salmon with some sort of glaze, undercooked carrots, and the world’s wateriest vegetable, Bok Choy.
Not on Scottie’s watch. He’s busting out a southern staple, redfish, spicing that bitch up and bringing the literal and metaphorical heat with some seasoned veg. Great second option for the beef-haters and heart disease havers.
Main course grade: A
Dessert
Warm chocolate chip skillet cookie w/ vanilla bean ice cream
If you tell Randy Johnson he needs to throw one strike to win a game, odds are he’s not dropping a 76 mph curve in there. He’s pumping in that high heat 101 on the black and daring you to get a piece of wood on it.
That’s what this dessert is. Old school fastball right down the middle. No bullshit. No chocolate tweels. No strabwerry sauce served in a gravy saucer. Just a chocolate chip cookie with vanilla ice cream. Play the hits.
Dessert grade: A
