Hey Fatties, hope you’re having a decent hump day.

I think it’s fair to say that I don’t ask for much on this blog aside from your undying devotion and loyalty.

And to that end, I have a favor to ask…

If you’re reading this on desktop, you’ll notice a bar across the bottom of your screen asking you to subscribe to this blog. If you’re reading this on mobile, it’s not going to work so switch to desktop please.

I REPEAT: THIS DOES NOT WORK ON MOBILE, PLEASE SWITCH TO DESKTOP!

I programmed that bar in there after multiple weeks of almost smashing my computer out of frustration.

Why did I go to this trouble?

Because I care about my readers and want to give you the option to subscribe to this blog.

Subscribing will give you desktop alerts every single time a new blog post goes live automatically. That way you don’t have to peruse social media to find a blog — every post will be sent to you via push notification on your laptop.

This is 100% free and I promise it will not spam you. You don’t have to give any personal info for this to work.

If you don’t see the bar at the bottom, there should be a little blue bell icon in the bottom left of the screen. That does the exact same thing as the bar.

If you enjoy this blog and frequently read it as a distraction from work, I would really appreciate it if you subscribed. Not only will you get the blogs when they’re hot off the presses, but you’ll also really be helping me out.

You see, I started this blog for one main reason: I LOVE making people laugh.

It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do with my life, and building up a dedicated subscriber base is my first step towards making a career out of comedy.

So in essence, by subscribing you’d be helping me achieve my dream.

Tough I would do this for free, as is evidenced by me currently doing this for free, can you imagine the shit I would be able to put out if this was my full-time gig? I’d be unstoppable.

And if after all that you’re still not convinced, maybe these testimonials from real Fatty Liver readers will help sway you:

1. Kendrick McCullers, Furloughed Auto Worker

“Well since the plant shut down and Martha left, I’ve found myself with a lot more free time. Reading this blog is a good way to run out the clock on life.”

2. Jennifer Holloway, Software Engineer

“Would you rather read Mein Kampf?! You twisted Nazi fuck!”

3. Julian E., Retired

“George Chunias is my best friend and the Fatty Liver is a real touchdown of a blog.”

4. Tommy Montgomery, 7th Grader

“All the fellas in Ms. Kelleher’s home room love this blog. It’s written super simple and really appeals to my sense of humor. It’s almost like the writer has the brain of a 13-year-old.”

5. Corge Goonias, Accountant

“In my unbiased opinion, I think the Fatty Liver is the greatest collection of literature ever assembled. Way better than any of that Dr. Seuss shit. Try using real words and see how good your books are then bro. Also, I’ve never met this George guy, but apparently he’s lowkey jacked in real life and not fat at all.”

The people have spoken. Now subscribe to this shit so I don’t have to get a real job. You’ll find me dead before you find me working in fucking software again.