Succession Recap: If Santa Clause was a hitman
Episode 2 is in the books and I’m ready to break it all down from a series of vague, disjointed notes I took as I watched.
Candidly, I watched the episode this morning because no one was really around for our usual Roys & Soys evening. I did however eat Chinese food last night and have discrete intestinal issues at my girlfriend’s apartment though, so I was 50% on the rhyme.
Alright, Succession time — let’s talk about it.
“Happy Christmas you clock-watching fucks”
Logan starts us off strong with a hysterical quote that shows off his preferred management style.
Logan knows he’s a mere day away from selling off his life’s work and the reality is hitting him hard.
Though he has brokered a good deal with GoJo, he’s now facing down the barrel of having nothing to do for the first time in his life.
Obviously the money doesn’t matter, he has plenty of that. He needs the control and the power. Hence why he decides to stare down some poor bastard just sending an email and desperately trying to justify his $60K/year existence to the big boss man.
But clearly this micromanaging and talk of really digging in with ATN demonstrates that Logan is scared of becoming irrelevant. Just mathematically speaking, his time is almost up, and he can’t bear the thought of being out of the game professionally and having to spend his final few years dwelling on his personal mess.
Logan is not a man who can retire and he’s clearly having some sort of 3/4 life crisis. It’s like when famed Alabama coach Bear Bryant was asked what he’s going to do in retirement and he said, “idk probably just die” and he died like 3 weeks later. Some guys don’t want to enjoy their golden years. They want to die at their desk.
“From global-global to hyper-local”
The Roy kids, fresh off their supposed victory over Logan are making plans for their new toy, Pierce Global Media aka PGM.
They pour through PGM’s current news offerings, scoffing at their programming lineup and suggesting groundbreaking alternatives like “a show dedicated to what’s going on in Africa.”
Take a stab at which dipshit triplet said that. I swear to God, we need Kendall to be humbled soon. Between this and him trying to sound all zen and Buddhist, we’re rife for another Kendall emotional meltdown when his terrible Silicon Valley namaste facade collapses again.
Kendall is one of those pseudo-intellectual guys who knows bits and pieces of different philosophies and religions, and combines them into some gross spiritual soup that he doles out in small bowlfuls to anyone within earshot.
Regardless, it’s clear that these kids didn’t do any due diligence on PGM and are now scrambling to read up on their $10B spite investment. Couple that with the not-so-subtle foreshadowing of their money man saying, “well the deal isn’t done yet,” and we are on a collision course with disaster.
“Jam smears on the highway”
We jump back to Logan who is “terrifyingly moseying” around the ATN office like if “Santa Clause was a hit man.”
He gets up on a soap paper box and makes a rousing speech reminiscent of some of our greatest orators like JFK, or Winston Churchill, or Hitler.
He kind of has a senior spring vibe to him, and is making puzzling decisions like trying to get Kerry on the news desk despite her “And boom goes the dynamic”-esque audition tape.
Actually, while we’re on the subject, Greg trying to give someone bad news went about as well as you would expect.
After citing her arms as a key point of fault in the audition, and not her smirking through a story about child abduction, Greg finally, sort-of, gives Kerry the bad news.
A lot of Michael-Scott vibes in this episode.
“Ahh America, I’ve missed you.”
For the first time in either blog, I’m going to talk about Connor Roy.
Connor doesn’t really seem to serve any role in this family other than as a comic foil. He’s a foil for both the viewing audience and the Roy family. And he plays this role well. His descriptions of middle America were comically off-base.
He thinks:
Your average blue-collar worker has blood in their hair
A regular Joe at the bar after a long-shift at the job site is ordering an imported wheat beer
Karaoke is some exotic activity that he’s only seen in the movies
It’s funny how out of touch and downright goofy he is. But this episode is the first time I’ve felt bad for Con. Hell, this is the first time I’ve felt anything for Con.
Yes he’s delusional in trying to run for president. Yes, he’s a spoiled man-child who has no concept of how the world works. And yes, he’s essentially paying a woman to marry him. But for fucks sake, cut the man some slack.
Over and over he serves as the family’s red-headed step child. And he takes it in stride every single time. But when his family fails to show up for his (albeit weird) wedding rehearsal, and respond to his fragile emotional state with jokes, he kind of just snaps.
All he wants is for them to care about him and show some level of investment in his life. But they can’t. They only care about themselves and their own self-interest. And that’s when he drops the saddest quote of this show:
He says he doesn’t need love, but deep down he wants it desperately. That’s why it was so nice to see Willa waiting in bed for him when he comes home. She may not love him, but even a small win is a win for Con. Fuck the other Roys.
At least someone in this bloodline has some redeeming quality.
“I love you, but you are not serious people.”
Best scene of the episode and one of the best of the whole show if we’re being honest.
The four kids, Logan, and Kerry are assembled in a karaoke room of all places waiting to have their first real conversation since the Italy deal.
And Logan offers, maybe for the first time, contrition. Now who knows if this is real remorse at how things played out, or if it’s just a strategic approach because he knows that they can tank the Go-Jo deal and force him back to the table.
For my part, I think it’s a bit of both. Logan regrets the mess that has become of his family life, but also is playing on his children’s emotions, as he always does, to get what he wants.
Unfortunately, Shiv and Kendall aren’t having it. Even though Logan is right about the deal, they won’t hear it. Now the question is, is this a revenge ploy by them or an actual business decision?
Here’s my interpretation of this situation:
Kendall talked to weird Swedish guy. He knows that any negotiation attempts will result in the offer being pulled. And he goes ahead with it anyways. Not because it makes business sense. But because he wants to inflict maximum hurt on his dad. He and Shiv both do. They’ve lost sight of what’s sensible and are just trying to cause pain as payback for all the shit their dad put them through over the years.
Maybe they think it’s the right business play and Swede guy is bluffing, but I doubt it. I think they’re just getting emotional and overplaying their hand. They’re trying sacrifice strategy in favor of pure pettiness.
And Logan, despite all his flaws, is just better than them at this game. He doesn’t let emotions impact his business decisions. That’s why he tells them that they’re not serious.
Kendall and Shiv rebuffing their father and refusing to even hear them out has backfired however. Not only are they going to lose the GoJo deal, but they’re going to lose Roman, who felt uncomfortable with the battering his father took at the hands of his siblings.
The youngest Roy still desperately wants his father’s affection, and the elder Roy knows it. And more importantly, he knows how to use those Roman’s feelings to advance his position.
Top 7 Quotes of the Episode:
There was a lot of good ones this week, so had to rank my top 7. They go in ascending order of my favorites.
“I’m going to set aside several hundred thousand dollars and I’m going to dedicate it to destroying your life.” - Roman
“There’s a sog factor” - Greg
“It’s like Israel-Palestine, except harder and much more important” - Tom
“Wanna give us a quick blast of New York-New York then fuck off?” - Kendall
“Hey Buddha, nice Tom Fords” - Roman
“Stop ganging up on me like you’re Lennon and McCartney and I’m George. I’m John motherfuckers.” *gesturing to Shiv and Kendall* “Ringo. Yoko. He’s still Connor, but he won drinks with us at an auction.” - Roman
“It’s like Jaws if everyone in Jaws worked for…Jaws.” - Greg
Winner(s) of the Week: Logan
He’s back. Yes, he might be getting fucked out of the GoJo deal, but is that really such a bad thing? What’s Logan going to do with retirement — golf? He likes the business drama and likes having to scheme and strategize.
Logan now has a chance to get Roman back in the fold and push this deal through, while out-classing Kendall and Shiv. He seems like he’s composed and in control again.
Loser(s) of the Week: Kendall & Shiv
They’re getting too emotional. They overpaid for PGM and now are about to lose the money that was supposed to fund that overpayment.
Their anger for Logan supercedes any business sense they might have. And as Con and Logan essentially tell them, they’re just children. They aren’t serious businesspeople. They’re little kids still desperate for daddy’s attention.
Final Analysis
Good ep — not as much drama as ep. 1 but a really strong character episode that showed where everyone is at emotionally. I like that Logan still seems to have some piss and vinegar in him. Excited to see him turn Roman against Kendall and Shiv. I don’t know what’s going to happen with either major deal, but overall, I think things are starting to trend towards Logan.