Whaddup Lumonheads? Someone suggested to me a few weeks ago that I do Severance recap blogs as I did for Succession back in the day. Severance is, in my opinion, potentially generational television and I feel it more than warrants a blog or five. So over the next month and change I’ll be recapping every episode the Monday after it airs, commenting on the plot, sharing my theories, and as always, praising Kier. Let’s dive into season 2, episode 5, “Trojan’s Horse.” Needless to say if you don’t watch this show or are not yet caught up, there will be spoilers.

Season 2, Episode 5: Trojan’s Horse

We pick up Severance at the midway point of the season, shortly after Helly R. was outed as being Helena Eagan (and essentially a rapist). Don’t envy the judge who has to try that case. “Your honor my client only consented to sleep with the person embodying the left hemisphere of the defendant’s brain.”

The episode begins with a mysterious man whistling a tune that ChatGPT creepily identified by sound as “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald,” a sea shanty commemorating the crew lost aboard the eponymous ship. Apologies for using too many big words there, Milchick is in my head.

I don’t know if this tune has any particular meaning beyond being a catchy albeit morbid thing to whistle, but one line of the song that stands out to me is: “The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead.”

Is this a reference to the sunken floor below the severed floor — the so-called “exports hall” where Ms.Casey presumably resides? They don’t seem super content to give up their supposed dead down there. Also could be a reference to cold harbor?

Could it have something to do with Irving and his/his father’s Naval background? He did literally start last episode on a lake and is now functionally dead. To be determined.

Regardless, this mysterious man procures what ostensibly (gonna get crushed in my performance review for these words) appear to be dentist’s tools. As usual it’s a big “what the fuck” to start the show.

“The work is mysterious and important”

After the opening theme in which Mark is crawling out of his own head as if he took a strain of The Substance that just creates a lateral version of yourself, we cut to his outie drinking some gross beige concoction (seen in the intro) that presumably prevents reintegration sickness. He laments to the reintegration lady who is now living with him and whose name I have not learned, that he can’t remember much beyond his initial day at Lumon.

In due time, Mr. Scout.

Helena, having just given new meaning to the “R” in Helly R. is back at Lumon and being told her innie needs to go back to the severed floor despite having almost just been drowned. She reluctantly does so, leading to Helly R’s first encounter with Ms. Wong, whom she rightfully is confused by. Pay attention to the use of the shaky cam in this brief scene. Perhaps it signifies Helly’s jarred mental state in this moment.

Thank you, this has been George’s douche film analysis.

Helly reunites with the remaining two refiners after Irving’s dismissal and they are welcomed into Milchick’s office for a much needed debrief.

“Irving B’s outie has departed on an elongated cruise voyage”

Milchick informs the remaining MDR innies in the most tedious way humanely possible that Irving has gone on a cruise and will not be returning to Lumon. Unsurprisingly this is a lie which the refiners see through immediately.

The sordid floor manager then leads his refiners back to their office space, with a desk arrangement that is about one cubicle wall short of a swastika and a team photo that has erased Irving B. ala the Back to the Future picture before Marty hooks up with his mom to create himself or whatever the hell was going on in that incestuous mess.

Dylan G. then demands a funeral be held for their fallen, or risen I guess in this context, colleague. Milchick reluctantly agrees, though Mark S. seems strangely indifferent to the idea. His mood is very off balance this episode, understandably given the whole tent incident (borderline sexual assault) in the last ep and the fact that he recently underwent 1950’s electroshock therapy.

Milchick begins arrangements for a “bereavement event” for Irving B. which aspiring 5th grader Ms. Wong is vehemently opposed to. The creepy child prodigy also seemingly delights in what’s sure to be a poor impending performance review for Milchick. This kid is really freaking me out beyond just the fact that there’s like a 5-year-old holding a prominent managerial position at a multinational conglomerate.

“Let us each take nine seconds to silently remember Irving”

Milchick puts together a rapid fire bereavement event with a touching Times New Roman memorial sign that Dwight Schrute would be proud of.

He then offers the refiners nine whole seconds, which was actually only six by my count, to mourn their “dead” friend. As always, Severance makes a tremendous reference to actual corporate practices, bereavement leave in this case.

“Hey someone who’s been in the entirety of your life is gone forever? Take a week to shed those tears then get right back on the B2B SaaS horse!” Thanks every HR department!

Dylan G. gives a beautiful eulogy which includes the phrase, “suck my own fuck,” before an Irving fruit head is brought in in the form of a Malaysian watermelon. Touching stuff.

While lingering at the world’s saddest funeral, (pathetic sad not sad sad), Dylan G. notices the poster that says “Hang in there,” a callback to Irving’s bizarre final words to him. Behind this poster, Dylan finds a note with a picture of the exports hall and directions to find it.

Now I don’t like to nitpick this show because it really is that good, but it’s starting to feel like they’re telegraphing some things. Maybe it’s deliberate on the writer’s part, but between fans identifying Helly R. as Helena straight away in episode 1 and this ham-fisted clue from Irving, they’re tipping their hands a touch. Then again, none of us have any idea what the hell is going on with this show so maybe it’s deliberate. They’re smarter than me after all.

“He’s not dead, he’s just not here”

Mark is giving very weird energy in this episode. The events in the woods seem to have shaken him to his core and he’s essentially surrendered to the omniscient, omnipresent, and omnipotent machine that is Lumon. His distrust and feelings of betrayal towards Helly R. are evident, though of course it’s not her fault that her outie went rogue. However, there’s something deeper going on as well.

His mood is scattered and varied. In one moment, he’s season 1 Mark who wants to be diligent and do his work without rocking the boat.

In the next, he’s this apathetic hostile jerk who doesn’t care about his friends.

Finally, at the end of the episode he’s snarky and condescending towards Milchick in the elevator, reminiscent of his previous drunk behavior.

He’s all over the map which I’m taking to mean his reintegration is slowly kicking in and different neural pathways in his brain are all firing at once, muddying his personality. Something to monitor going forward.

“The paper clip was installed back to front”

I think everyone got PTSD watching Milchick’s performance review harkening back to our own annual experiences in that hot seat.

First off, if I went into a performance review and they told me it would last anywhere from 2-6 hours, I’m quitting on the spot.

Secondly, Severance once again does a tremendous job lampooning the tedious and nitpicky nature of these professional evaluations. They nailed the thing about him using too many big words though. Guy sounds like he memorized a thesaurus.

It is also hilarious that they lead with two super minor “infractions” before being like “oh yeah and one of your employees tried to kill another and also all three of these people are liable to kill you at any moment, but hey, cool it with the three syllable words.”

One substantive piece of information we get is how close Mark S. is to finishing the Cold Harbor file, which apparently is akin to the discovery of penicillin in terms of global importance.

The meeting ends with Milchick insisting that he’ll be tightening the leash, leading to an extremely hostile confrontation with Mark S. in which Milchick drops a hard F bomb to tell him he knows about his and Helly’s salacious encounter in the tent (More like R. Helly am I right?).

“She’s not dead, she’s just not here”

Real quick before we wrap up. Ricken is briefly shown workshopping his writings for Lumon with his wife Devon, who correctly points out that he’s essentially arguing against his own beliefs in service of Lumon’s message of conformity.

He tries to rationalize it as a “Trojan’s Horse” to slip the writings past Lumon’s censors so that his ultimate revolutionary message can reach the Innies. However, it’s patently obvious that this self-proclaimed free-thinker has sold out his ideals in the pursuit of financial freedom and notoriety.

Not knocking it, I’d turn this blog into a political forum in two seconds if someone offered me enough money. But the difference is I don’t claim to be a man of principle! (Nah I actually wouldn’t, fuck that noise, I respect y’all too much to write about anything of substance).

I was curious about one thing here. Ricken says “Trojan’s Horse,” in what seems to be a verbal gaffe of the non-possessive phrase “Trojan Horse.” Given that this is the title of the episode, it’s unclear if this is meant to further poke fun at Ricken’s status as a self-proclaimed intellectual, or if there is a deeper meaning to the error. A few on Reddit pointed out the link between Helen of Troy and Helena Egan, who was a literal Trojan horse on the severed floor. Idk if there’s anything there but it’s an interesting thread to pull.

ANYWAYS, the episode concludes with outie Mark uttering the same phrase his innie used just hours earlier, “She’s not dead, she’s just not here,” this time in reference to his wife. This suggests once again that his reintegration is starting to take, which is confirmed by the show’s closing shot of outie Mark remembering being face-to-face with Ms.Casey on the severed floor.

Quotes of the episode

• “The Affections Index for Irving B was in the high 60s”

  • Lowkey I worked at a company that measured employee happiness numerically

• “I’ll ready the refreshments you focus on the mournful signage”

  • Just so needlessly verbose Milchick

• “He put the dick in contradiction”

  • Someone say this at my funeral

• “Your attendance and urinalysis are both in the excellent range”

  • Honestly a better performance review than I’ve ever gotten

Theories

• I think Milchick is going to rebel against Lumon and assist the refiners in some way. Being “gifted” the portraits of blackface Kier understandably upset him and showed him that the company doesn’t actual understand or value its employees. The tedious performance review certainly doesn’t help matters. Also, I guarantee you some real company is doing something similar to those portraits right now in a very misguided commemoration of Black History Month.

• Something does not sit right with me about Christopher Walken’s outie. I think he’s a double agent or something for Lumon. The way he “jokingly” said “I know where you live” to Irving had a sinister undertone to it. Not looking forward to that dinner if I’m Irv.

• Not really a theory but is outie Mark just a huge loser? Every fact Ms.Casey was reciting about his outie in his flashback sucked:

  • He can parallel park within 20 seconds

  • He can roller skate with grace

  • Pays his bills in 3 business days

  • Listens to music while shaving but not showering

  • Two scoops of ice cream per serving

  • Once captured a butterfly

  Do heroin or something man, my God.

Lingering questions

• Why does Ms. Wong play the theremin — actually why does anyone play the theremin?

• When is this show supposed to take place? There seems to be modern clothing and cell phones, yet Lumon exclusively uses 1980s technology? This company is single handedly keeping fax machines, boxy tv’s, and 8-bit/stop-motion animation in business.

• Who does Irving keep calling on the outside?

• We ever going to address the goats or nah? If I’m an innie the only thing I would be focused on is the goats. No way they hired Brianne of Tarth for a 10 minute cameo.

• Cold Harbor is like a cloning morgue or something right?

• Speaking of cloning, the faceless guy at the beginning has to be someone we’ve met before right? Let’s see.

See you next week for another recap and presumably far more questions than answers.