WALTHAM, MA — A local party host created confusion and feelings of discomfort among her guests this week when she put out an unseemly amount of crudités as part of her party spread. Becky Malfasio, 24, hosted around 20 guests at her studio loft on Tuesday night for an extremely belated Christmas party. Malfasio took it upon herself to provide her guests with food and refreshments, including: chips w/homemade buffalo chicken dip, assorted meats and cheese, myriad Christmas cookies, and, most puzzlingly, a $25 organic crudités platter from Whole Foods. The platter, which featured raw vegan staples such as baby carrots, celery, those cherry tomatoes that explode seeds into your mouth, tri-colored pepper strips, and cauliflower for some reason, remained largely untouched throughout the night, allegedly creating an air of discomfort among the party guests.

Said one partygoer who only agreed to speak to this publication on the condition of anonymity, “It was just awkward. You have this great spread and we’re all just crushing it. The buffalo chicken dip went right through me and I still went back for seconds after I finished clogging Becks’ toilet. That’s how good it was. But in the middle of all this is this gross plate of healthy shit with a pool of bullshit fat-free ranch in the center. It just ruined the whole vibe.”

Dave Mills, 26, who consented to his name being used and, in fact, seemed to want Malfasio to know it was him who said this, was a bit more animated in his criticism. “I don’t come to these things to get my vitamins or break a sweat,” Mills said through bites of a 20-inch Italian sub. “I come here to eat a bunch of greasy shit that you’ll find in the same corner of the color wheel and get IPA-drunk on free booze. And you expect me to just raw dog a handful of cauliflower? The fuck is that?”

Malfasio understands the criticism from some of her partygoers, but defends her choice to feature the vegetable platter, commenting, “I just thought it would be nice to have a healthy option. You never know if someone is dieting or has a food intolerance and I wanted to be inclusive of everyone.” Mills, who somehow heard this quote, responded angrily. “Fuck out of here with that ish. Diets are for losers and food intolerances are made up. My quack doctor thinks I have a gluten intolerance and here I am smashing a 20-inch hoagie,” Mills said through the bathroom door in between violent bouts of vomiting.

Malfasio reports that only a handful of vegetables were taken from the platter by guests who she suspects wanted to appear nice. The cauliflower remains untouched.