FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST!

This country was founded on a few simple ideals: that as an American citizen you are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. That you have the right to bear arms. And that you have the right to bring those arms into an airport if it was just by accident.

It’s good to know that in the Year of Our Lord 2023 those ideals are still alive and well.

For those unaware, Jack Jones is a promising second year cornerback for the New England Patriots, who was unjustly arrested by U.S. Federal Authorities a few months ago for allegedly bringing two loaded Glocks through Logan Airport security. An arrogant display of force by a bunch of power tripping stormtroopers trying to justify their bloated budget.

And look, I’m a reasonable man. I understand TSA flagging a bag that had what appeared to be/definitely was two loaded guns inside. After that whole 9/11 debacle the Logan staff has really been on their game. So yeah, be extra cautious if you must in the interest of safety. Having said that, Jones pretty clearly explained he had those in his bag by accident and didn’t mean to pack them. That should have been the end of it. Laugh it off as a misunderstanding and let the man head to his gate. But no, TSA had to be narcs and get the Feds involved.

Thankfully after a long drawn out circus of legal mudslinging, federal prosecutors finally admitted they had nothing and dropped the charges against the innocent corner.

BOOM! Can’t prove he knew he had guns in those bags. Makes perfect sense to me. Whomst amongst us hasn’t inadvertently packed something they weren’t supposed to? I know I’ve sent a full water bottle through the security scanner a time or two. As Jesus would say, let ye without loaded handguns in your carry-on cast the first stone.

Overall, this is a great day for the New England Patriots and for the United States of America. I don’t want to live in some fascist dystopia where one little mistake at an airport like wearing a belt through the metal detector, or forgetting to remove your portable electronic device, or accidentally grabbing John Wick’s duffel can cost a man his livelihood. Glad that justice prevailed today.

Also suck it Ben Volin you fucking nerd.