Gonna do these little pregame BC hype speeches every week or until BC starts really pissing me off. So I’m going to do these for like 2 weeks.

Yep, it’s that time of week again. Your Boston College Eagles are back for Game 2, their first road tilt of the year.

The Eagles are, of course, coming off a loss to Rutgers that can best be described as a mistake-filled performance, and can worst be described as an incompetent dickless fumble fest. But alas, we move forward.

We now turn our attention to this week’s matchup. BC is heading down to Blacksburg, a name which sounds kind of racist, to take on the Virginia Tech Hokies. Both teams are trying to figure out their identities, and claim their first wins on the young season. Meanwhile I’m trying to figure out what the fuck a Hokie is for the 26th year in a row.

Actually while we’re on the subject, why would a major college program opt for a turkey as a mascot? They know that mascots can be used by more than one school right? It’s not like everyone needs to have their own unique animal and Va Tech had the last pick in the draft. Like the Virginia Tech Tigers would have been perfectly fine with everyone. Or even a cooler bird. Look at BC — Eagles is a super acceptable mascot. Hell I’d take the Virginia Tech Vultures over the Hokies. It’s got the alliteration thing going and vultures are at least kind of cool. But no, Cornelius VirginiaTech panicked in 1872 and named his school’s mascot after the thing he most recently shot and/or consumed. Well done bro, you’re stuck with the gobblers forever.

Btw can we commend me for looking up the actual year VT was founded? That’s the kind of pointless, inconsequential detail that separates me from everyone else with a Squarespace account.

Anyways, the game. It’s a big one (not really). We are going to be LIVE on national-ish TV in primetime because the ACC Network apparently doesn’t care about viewership. BC is entering one of the most hostile environments in college football, made even more hostile by the fact that the students have 8 hours to pregame. And they’re going to need our support.

Now look, I know what you might be thinking:

“Why should I get hyped up for BC football? They haven’t gotten hyped up for their own games in 15 years.”

I get it. I really do. BC is a shitty team. But you know what? They’re OUR shitty team. If you have a brat for a kid who’s constantly fucking up, do you stop loving him? No, of course you don’t. You drink a lot and ship the kid off to military school to learn some goddamn respect.

So this is my ask of you fellow Eagles, and non-grads who got nothing else going on: Support the squad tomorrow.

Obviously we can’t be there to support them in person because I have literally no desire to go to the state of Virginia ever — but support them from here. Get a day drink going. Turn that day drink into a night drink. And once that clock strikes 8, get yourself to a bar, plant yourself in front of the one small, shitty quality tv in the corner that they put the least relevant game on, and cheer for your Eagles. Because you know deep down inside, that school gave you so much, and asked for nothing in return besides literally all of your parents money.

Roll fucking Eags. Let’s get a W on the board.